She Strengthens

Unmasking the Narcissist: Understanding the Complexities of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissism is often misconceived as mere vanity, but it’s a diagnosable personality disorder that forms early in life. A true narcissist exhibits a cluster of behaviors consistently, far beyond just a devoted relationship with their phone camera.

The Telltale Signs of a Narcissist

The American Psychiatric Association states that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is diagnosed when a person shows five or more of the following traits:

• A grandiose sense of self-importance
• Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, beauty, and/or love
• Believing they are special and unique
• Requiring excessive admiration
• Possessing a very strong sense of entitlement
• Exploiting others
• Lacking empathy
• Habitually envying others or believing others are envious of them
• Displaying arrogant or haughty behavior or attitudes

Nature vs. Nurture: The Origins of Narcissism

The debate continues over whether narcissism stems from birth or upbringing. While most experts point to a person’s upbringing, one thing is certain: spending time around a narcissist can significantly impact your mental health.

Recognizing Harmful Behaviors

If you identify with many of the signs listed above, you may be dealing with a narcissist. Keep in mind that only a licensed mental health professional can provide a formal diagnosis.

1. The Master of Exaggeration

Narcissists will stop at nothing to prove they’re the best. They’ll lie to build up their grand image, spinning a web of stories with little ties to reality. To cope, put distance between yourself and the narcissist, and remember you’re not alone in noticing their exaggerations.

2. The Attention Seeker

Narcissists feed off attention, requiring constant affirmation. Recognize their behavior and try to feed into it as little as possible. You’re not a machine, after all!

3. The Entitled One

A narcissist believes they’re entitled to the best with minimal effort. Unfortunately, when this doesn’t come to fruition, drama and tantrums ensue. It can feel unfair to coexist with someone who moves through the world with such a haughty sense of self.

4. Sneering Congratulations

Narcissists are perpetually envious of others, while believing others are envious of them. They’ll put you down instead of congratulating you on your achievements. If this behavior has you down, talk to friends and family, and consider seeking help from a mental health professional.

5. The Opportunist

A narcissist will do anything to get what they want, even if it means using you for their own gain. Remember, this isn’t regular “friendship behavior.” Don’t let it impact your trust in other friendships.

6. The Victim

Narcissists are skilled at turning facts around to portray themselves as the victim. They might constantly tell you you’re being too sensitive to make their own selfish actions seem less impactful. Being manipulated like this can be destabilizing and confusing.

7. The Anger Management Issue

When called out, narcissists tend to react with unexpected and uncontrollable anger and desire for revenge. Remember, a screaming match is exactly what they want, so try to keep calm and not engage.

Coping with a Narcissist

Being around a narcissist can be emotionally draining and destabilizing. For your own sake, consider cutting ties with the individual or limiting interactions to a minimum. If that’s not possible, know what you’re dealing with, don’t feed their me-me-me behavior, set firm boundaries, and use flattery when necessary.

Remember, You’re Not Alone

If you’re feeling worn down, frustrated, or even hopeless about the situation, know that it’s not your fault. A narcissist’s behavior is their problem, not yours. Take extra good care of yourself, and consider seeking help from a mental health professional if needed.