She Strengthens

The Unseen Realities of Atlantic City’s Nightlife Scene

Behind the Glamour, a World of Objectification and Racism

As a former bottle girl in Atlantic City’s casinos, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into. The flexibility and security of the job helped me navigate college and beyond, and I wasn’t ashamed of the work. But beneath the surface of glitz and glam, I encountered a world of inappropriate behavior, daily racism, and internalized misogyny.

The Unwanted Attention Wasn’t Just from Men

While I expected some level of unwanted attention from men, I was shocked to find that white women were often the ones inappropriately touching me. During bottle presentations, they would reach up and grab at me, commenting on my body and hair. The ease with which they performed these violations towards me, a Black woman, wasn’t lost on me.

The Objectification Came from the Top Down

Management’s messaging was clear: we were there to ensure customers had a good time, no matter the cost. Our contracts outlined strict beauty standards, including weight requirements, with random weigh-ins to keep us on our toes. It felt normal, until I saw girls taking laxatives to make weight, and I realized something was very wrong.

Racism Was a Daily Reality

As a mixed-race, light-skinned woman, I knew I received deference because of my proximity to whiteness. But when I asked why we didn’t play more hip-hop, I was told it attracted the “wrong crowd.” I knew the game I was playing, but it was exhausting. Girls I worked with would skip serving nonwhite customers, and there was always a huff and aversion when it came to serving people who didn’t fit the mold.

Internalized Misogyny and Ageism

Among the staff, there was a ranking system, with the young and hot at the top. Older bottle servers, often mothers, were judged for “letting themselves go” and pitied for getting stuck in nightlife. I saw this as a reality, not something to be ashamed of. Not everyone can go to college, and sometimes you get caught up in the lifestyle.

I Didn’t Realize How Miserable I Was Until I Left

It wasn’t until I left the job that I realized how miserable I was. I was self-conscious about my body, comparing myself to others, and wondering who was the prettiest or made the most money. I was tired all the time, and my weekends never felt long enough.

What Nightlife Taught Me

Despite the difficulties, I’m grateful for certain aspects of the job. I learned how to bartend, and I have good experience in the industry. But what nightlife really taught me was to see the world as it is – to read people, cater to them, and say no nicely. It’s a valuable skill, one that breeds compassion rather than entitlement.