The True Cost of Kindness

Kindness Isn’t Free

Kindness is often misunderstood as a feeling or an action, but it’s actually a choice that requires effort, empathy, and discipline. This choice comes with a cost, one that demands our time, energy, and comfort. It requires us to listen, observe, and understand the needs of others.

Empathy: The Foundation of Kindness

Deep kindness is about meeting people’s needs, which requires empathy. Empathy is not just feeling sorry for someone; it’s about sharing, thinking, and caring. It involves understanding what someone is feeling, imagining oneself in their experience, and taking compassionate action.

Building Empathy

To develop our empathy muscle, we need to create micro habits in our brains. One way to do this is by pre-declaring the kind of person we’ll be in different situations, increasing the likelihood of taking kind actions. For example:

• Decide to offer food to someone experiencing homelessness
• Send a private message to someone who seems to be struggling

Putting Kindness into Practice

To make kindness a genuine part of our daily lives, we need to prioritize it. Try writing a daily “to-be” list alongside your to-do list, focusing on who you want to show kindness to and what they need. By addressing someone’s specific needs, you can make your kindness truly meaningful.

Avoiding the Pitfalls of Kindness

When trying to help others, we often forget that asking “How can I help?” puts the burden on the person suffering. Instead, try offering specific choices, such as:

• Providing a meal
• Helping with errands

This way, you can show kindness without overwhelming them.

Kindness as a Practice

Kindness is not just a concept, but a practice that requires ongoing effort and discipline. We need to earn ourselves into being kind, just like we would develop any other skill. And the beauty of kindness lies in its continuous growth – we will always be becoming kinder people.