She Strengthens

Cultivating Deeper Connections: A New Approach to Building Intimacy

Breaking Down Barriers

Getting to know someone, whether it’s a new acquaintance or a familiar face, can be a daunting experience. It’s especially true when it comes to matters of the heart, whether romantic or platonic. To bridge this gap, I’ve created a new set of questions that focus on shared experiences, values, and diverse identities.

Laying the Foundation

These questions are designed to help you build a strong foundation for meaningful relationships. They’re meant to be used as social scripts and templates to foster platonic intimacy with friends, chosen family, or those who may have navigated multiple identities.

Part 1: Uncovering Common Ground

Simple questions can pave the way for deeper conversations. These questions help set the tone for understanding what we care about and who we are.

• Who was your favorite teacher in school and why?
• What’s the meaning of your name? Do you feel like the meaning resonates with who you are?
• Are you an animal person? What kinds of animals do you like and why?
• What was your favorite toy when you were young?
• Did you grow up with any specific culture or traditions?

Part 2: Empathizing with Each Other

Each person has a unique perspective shaped by their experiences. These questions help us see each other better and understand what we value.

• What is your favorite sound, smell, and feeling?
• How do you usually respond to stress?
• What’s something about yourself that is still the same as when you were a child?
• Do you have tattoos? What do they mean?
• When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Part 3: Diving Deeper

These questions invite vulnerability and openness, allowing both parties to feel heard and understood.

• Do you feel like there are some things too serious to joke about? Like what?
• How often do you cry? Do you cry more than you laugh?
• What are three things you want to have in common with your friends?
• Who is one person who’s hurt you a lot in life and how did they hurt you?
• What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you and why was it embarrassing?

Part 4: Nurturing Growth

By the end of this exercise, you’ll have gained a deeper understanding of each other. Return to these questions over time to continue growing and learning together.

• What are your love languages? How do you communicate your love for someone?
• How can I help create a space for you to vent or even celebrate?
• What is the greatest accomplishment of your life and what are the things you’re most still hoping to accomplish?
• If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?

Remember, understanding is a powerful love language. By using these questions, you’ll be well on your way to creating meaningful connections with others.