The Mysterious Refractory Period: Uncovering the Secrets
What’s the Holdup?
When it comes to sexual performance, people with penises often get a bad rap. Pornographic depictions of endless stamina can be misleading, and the reality is that everyone needs a break between sessions. This recharging time is known as the male refractory period, and it’s influenced by a range of factors, including age, health, and arousal levels.
How Long is the Wait?
According to board-certified urologic surgeon Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, the refractory period can last anywhere from a few minutes to several days. Sex and intimacy educator Xanet Pailet explains that people in their twenties often need only a few minutes, while those in their thirties and forties may need 30 minutes to an hour.
What’s Going On Down There?
After sex, the penis becomes flaccid due to signals from the brain telling the body to relax. Trying to insert a flaccid penis into an orifice is like trying to put silly string back in the spray can – it’s just not happening. You’ll have to wait until you’re hard again, and that’ll take some time.
Why Can’t We Just Keep Going?
Just like your phone needs to install updates, your body needs time to recharge. Board-certified urologist Paul Turek, MD, explains that after orgasm, the excitable fight-or-flight nervous system recedes, and the rest-and-restore system takes over. This means dopamine levels drop, and prolactin levels increase, making it harder to get back in the game.
Factors That Affect the Refractory Period
Several variables can impact how long you may need to wait for your penis to play ball again, including:
- Stress and energy levels
- Arousal levels
- Drug and alcohol use, including antidepressants and other prescription drugs that can reduce libido
- Overall health and age
Tips to Reduce the Refractory Period
While some factors are out of your control, being extremely aroused can shorten the length of the refractory period. Additionally, learning ejaculatory control through breathwork and tantric breathing techniques can help delay orgasm. Maintaining a healthy body through a balanced diet, regular exercise, and avoiding excessive alcohol intake can also help reboot your system faster.
The Bottom Line
You might have to wait minutes to get back into the groove after an orgasm, or it could be a few days. It depends on many factors, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Sex is about intimacy, communication, and sensitivity, and there are plenty of ways to keep the pleasure rolling without relying on a rapid follow-up erection.
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