She Strengthens

Understanding Your Sex Drive: What’s Normal and What’s Not?

When it comes to sex drive, everyone’s experience is unique. But what happens when your libido is through the roof or stuck in neutral? Understanding the factors that influence your sexual desire can help you determine if everything is okay or if something needs attention.

Defining Normal

Sex therapist and bestselling author Ian Kerner, PhD, notes that “normal” is a relative term when it comes to libido. What’s normal for one person might not be the same for another. While some people might have a high sex drive, others might have a low one, and that’s okay. The issue arises when there’s a mismatch between partners or when your libido starts affecting your daily life.

The Factors That Influence Libido

Several factors can impact your sex drive, including:

• Age: Libido can fluctuate as we age, with some people experiencing a decrease in desire over time.
• Stress: High levels of stress can kill the mood and make sex the last thing on your mind.
• Relationship status: A new relationship can spark a high sex drive, while a rocky relationship can lead to a low one.
• Health conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as diabetes or depression, can affect libido.
• Medications: Some medications, like antidepressants, can lower sex drive as a side effect.
• Hormones: Hormonal changes, such as those experienced during menopause, can impact libido.

When to Seek Help

If your sex drive is causing you distress or affecting your relationship, it might be time to seek help. Here are some signs that something might be off:

• Uncontrollable sexual behavior: If you find yourself engaging in risky or compulsive sexual behavior, it could be a sign of an underlying issue.
• Mismatched libido: If you and your partner have vastly different sex drives, it can cause tension in the relationship.
• Emotional distress: If your sex drive is causing you anxiety, depression, or other emotional issues, it’s time to seek help.

DIY Solutions

Before seeking professional help, there are some things you can try to boost your libido:

• Schedule intimacy: Make time for sex and intimacy in your busy schedule.
• Aphrodisiac foods: Try incorporating foods like bananas, avocados, and chocolate into your diet to spark desire.
• Exercise: Regular exercise can increase energy and libido.
• Communication: Talk to your partner about what you like and dislike in the bedroom.

When to Seek Professional Help

If DIY solutions don’t work, it might be time to seek help from a professional. A sex therapist or doctor can help you address underlying issues, such as past trauma or relationship problems, and provide guidance on how to improve your sex life.

Remember

Your sex drive is unique, and what’s normal for you might not be the same for someone else. If you’re experiencing distress or issues with your libido, don’t be afraid to seek help. With the right support and guidance, you can find a healthy balance and improve your overall well-being.