She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Dieting Cycle

A Life of Obsession

I thought I was normal, but my dietitian knew better. I had been dieting for years, trying every fad under the sun – keto, veganism, juice cleanses, and calorie counting. I exercised four or five times a week, convinced that this was the key to achieving the perfect body. But what I didn’t realize was how much of life I was missing.

The Secret to Thinness

I thought my dietitian would teach me the secret to thinness, but instead, she revealed the truth about my chronic dieting: I had an other specified eating disorder. I was shocked, but deep down, I knew it was true. I had been weighing myself multiple times a day, keeping food journals, and scheduling intense workouts. I created accountability groups, hoping my friends would keep me in check. But what I didn’t share was the shame I felt during late-night binges or the hours I spent working off those calories.

Finding Freedom

Now that I’ve given up intentional weight loss, I have my time back. I’ve started writing, which means I might take a few nights off from working out to send pitches or research an article. Exercising my mind through writing has been a wonderful use of my time and a great creative outlet. Instead of texting my friends to shame me out of eating, I Facetime them to plan trips together or complain about something other than my diet.

Redirecting My Energy

The time I spent on fitness apps has been redirected to budgeting apps. This new obsession is more fun, more educational, and healthier – especially for my wallet. I’ve also found freedom in trying different types of exercise, doing them when my body craves movement. I’ve tried yoga, spin classes, and weight training. All movement is good – even if it’s only walking from my desk to the cafe down the road for a sweet treat.

Embracing Radical Acceptance

My dietitian taught me about radical acceptance – acknowledging the way I feel about my body and just accepting it. It helps me meet myself where I am rather than spend all my waking hours longing for an ideal I’ll probably never reach. I accept the fact that dieting never worked for me and never will. I accept my body the way it is right now, the way it was yesterday, and the way it will be tomorrow.

A New Chapter

Going into my second year without resolving to lose weight is exciting, though I know it will be challenging. On those challenging days when my eating disorder is trying to trick me back into my old habits, I’ll remind myself of all I’ve gained since I stopped pursuing weight loss. I’ve gained physical and emotional energy, freedom from obsession, and a newfound appreciation for life.