The Mysterious Case of the Elusive Sex Life

The Numbers Game

Research provides some insight into the average frequency of sex. One study found that American adults in their 20s have sex around 80 times per year, while those in their 60s have sex closer to 20 times annually. However, another study revealed that having sex more than once a week doesn’t necessarily lead to increased happiness and contentment in one’s sex life. The key takeaway? There’s no magic number that works for everyone.

Communication is Key

According to sex and relationship therapists, communication between partners is crucial in establishing a frequency of sex that works for both individuals. “Some couples are sexual daily, and neither is it out of the norm nor is it unhealthy,” notes one expert. “Other couples are sexual once every other month. If both partners are satisfied, then this infrequent frequency is also within the norm and is healthy.”

Age Factors

Age can play a role in determining the frequency of sex, but it’s not the only factor. Research has found that the older someone feels and the less positively they view aging, the less likely they are to enjoy sex. Hormonal changes, stress, and lifestyle can all impact libido, making it a complex and individualized issue.

Busting Sex Myths

Let’s put some common misconceptions to rest:

• Quantity is not everything – quality matters more than frequency.
• Masturbation doesn’t decrease sex drive; in fact, it can increase it.
• A dry spell doesn’t mean you’re doomed.
• Certain sexual preferences are not inherently “bad” or unacceptable.

Keeping the Spark Alive

So, how can you torch your sex drive and make it work for you? Try:

• Incorporating de-stressors into your life.
• Connecting with your partner emotionally.
• Consuming erotic media together.
• Getting your hormones checked out.
• Kicking shame to the curb and focusing on building self-esteem and confidence.

Most importantly, remember that what matters is what makes you and your partner feel satisfied and happy. If you’re still struggling to get your sex life to a place that makes you happy, consider working with a couples’ therapist who specializes in sex and physical intimacy. Remember, there’s no one “right way” to have a fulfilling sex life – it’s all about finding what works for you.