She Strengthens

The Mysterious Case of the Elusive Sex Life

You’re sitting at brunch with your friends, sipping on a mimosa, and suddenly the conversation takes a very personal turn. Everyone’s sharing intimate details about their sex lives, and you’re left wondering, “What’s normal here?” Should you exaggerate your own sexual escapades or downplay them? The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to a fulfilling sex life.

The Numbers Game

Research provides some insight into the average frequency of sex. A 2017 study found that American adults in their 20s have sex around 80 times per year, while those in their 60s have sex closer to 20 times annually. However, another study revealed that having sex more than once a week doesn’t necessarily lead to increased happiness and contentment in one’s sex life. The key takeaway? There’s no magic number that works for everyone.

Communication is Key

According to sex and relationship therapist Andrew Aaron, communication between partners is crucial in establishing a frequency of sex that works for both individuals. “Some couples are sexual daily, and neither is it out of the norm nor is it unhealthy,” he notes. “Other couples are sexual once every other month. If both partners are satisfied, then this infrequent frequency is also within the norm and is healthy.”

Age Factors

Age can play a role in determining the frequency of sex, but it’s not the only factor. A 2018 study found that the older someone feels and the less positively they view aging, the less likely they are to enjoy sex. Hormonal changes, stress, and lifestyle can all impact libido, making it a complex and individualized issue.

Busting Sex Myths

Let’s put some common misconceptions to rest. Quantity is not everything – quality matters more than frequency. Masturbation doesn’t decrease sex drive; in fact, it can increase it. A dry spell doesn’t mean you’re doomed, and certain sexual preferences are not inherently “bad” or unacceptable.

Keeping the Spark Alive

So, how can you torch your sex drive and make it work for you? Incorporate de-stressors into your life, connect with your partner emotionally, consume erotic media together, and get your hormones checked out. Most importantly, kick shame to the curb and focus on building self-esteem and confidence.

The Takeaway

Forget what your friends say – it’s all about what makes you and your partner feel satisfied and happy. If you’re still struggling to get your sex life to a place that makes you happy, consider working with a couples’ therapist who specializes in sex and physical intimacy. Remember, there’s no one “right way” to have a fulfilling sex life – it’s all about finding what works for you.