She Strengthens

Love in the Time of Uncertainty

As I settled into the cozy Santa Cruz cottage with my boyfriend, I knew we were taking a risk. The COVID-19 pandemic was spreading fast, but being apart wasn’t an option. We hunkered down, prepared to survive on takeout and microwave meals, and gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes. But reality soon caught up with us – no microwave, limited toilet paper, and a statewide lockdown. Our romantic getaway turned into a quarantine.

Intimacy in Isolation

When the world outside feels like it’s ending, conversations take on a new level of intimacy. “What will happen to our parents?” “I’m so glad I’m not alone.” Fear and love entwine, filling the space between us. We’re stripped bare, without the daily rituals that maintain a sense of normalcy. In this liminal space, we’re forced to confront the unknown.

The Little Things Matter

My boyfriend’s thoughtful gestures – Gatorade and Ben & Jerry’s – struck a chord. Later, when we ran out of milk, it became a symbol of the unseen threats lurking outside. Every trip to the store is now a risk, and even breathing feels dangerous. We cling to the small things: dance parties in our underwear, creative sex, blanket forts, and laughter that brings tears to our eyes.

Kindness in the Face of Fear

As we navigate this new reality, kindness and grace emerge. Strangers offer help on social media, grassroots efforts support vulnerable communities, and celebrities reconnect over Instagram Live. Neighbors sing together on their balconies in Italy, and mental health providers offer support to those struggling. In the face of fear, we’re reminded that what matters most is the connection we find in each other.

New Rules, No Rules

This “extended stay” has been a remarkable experience for someone who’s historically avoided intimacy. I’m not used to being so seen, especially during a time of global vulnerability. But I’ve leaned into it, embracing the small gestures and intimate conversations. When nothing is the same, it’s okay to need someone, to ask for help, and to show vulnerability.

The Heartbeat of Daily Life

In giving myself permission to need, I’ve found the heartbeat of daily life again – small intimacies, small gestures, all stitched together. My boyfriend reminds me, “Small is good, small is all.” Rihanna’s words echo in my mind: “finding love in a hopeless place.” As we navigate this uncertain world, sweetness prevails, and the light we hold for each other becomes more important than ever.