She Strengthens

Understanding the Complexity of Grief

Grief is a universal human experience, yet it affects each of us differently. While some may seem to bounce back quickly, others may struggle with depression and physical pain. According to Blythe Landry, LCSW, M.Ed., a certified specialist with the Grief Recovery Method, “We are not taught as a society how to consciously grieve.” The key to healing lies in our willingness to engage in an active program of grief recovery.

The Ever-Changing Process of Grief

Grief is a dynamic process that evolves over time. While it may feel overwhelming in the present moment, it’s essential to remember that those intense feelings will eventually lessen their impact on daily life.

Models of Grief: Understanding the Five- and Seven-Stage Models

Two popular models of grief, the five- and seven-stage models, attempt to provide a framework for understanding the complex emotions involved.

The Five-Stage Model by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

1. Denial: Numbing, shock, and disbelief
2. Anger: Frustration, outsized reactions, and blame
3. Bargaining: Prayers, “if only” statements, and attempts to negotiate with loss
4. Depression: Feeling the loss acutely, heaviness, and fatigue
5. Acceptance: Moving forward, adjusting to the new reality, and learning to live with the loss

The Seven-Stage Model

1. Shock and Denial: Initial numbness and disbelief
2. Pain and Guilt: Emotional pain and feelings of responsibility
3. Anger and Bargaining: Frustration, blame, and attempts to negotiate
4. Depression: Feeling the loss acutely, heaviness, and fatigue
5. The Upward Turn: A shift towards healing and rebuilding
6. Reconstruction and Working Through: Processing emotions and rebuilding life
7. Acceptance and Hope: Finding a new sense of purpose and meaning

Grieving the End of a Relationship

Breakups can be just as intense as mourning a death, causing psychological distress, depression, fatigue, and emotional numbness. It’s essential to recognize the pain and allow yourself to feel your emotions.

Honoring the Grief of Job Losses

Losing a job can create a unique sense of grief, with uncertainty and emotional toll. Be gentle with yourself, reach out for support, and avoid blaming yourself.

The Timeline of Grief

Grief is a unique and unpredictable process. It’s impossible to put a timeline on healing, and it’s essential to be gentle with yourself and avoid rushing through the process.

Tips for Healthy Grieving

1. Feel Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable and painful emotions.
2. Make Space for Sadness: Clear time in your day to actively grieve.
3. Make One Small Choice to Move Forward: Engage in activities that propel you forward.
4. Work with a Therapist: Seek support and guidance from a mental health professional.

Remember, grief is a unique and ever-changing process. Be gentle with yourself, and trust that with time, patience, and support, you can heal and find a new sense of purpose.