The Misconception of Sex as a Health Panacea
The widespread acceptance of the sex positivity movement has led to a surge in discussions about sex. While this shift has been instrumental in filling the gaps left by abstinence education and cultural stigmas, it has also spawned a plethora of oversimplified articles touting the health benefits of sex.
The Oversimplification of Sex and Health
These articles often cite research on various topics, such as sleep, immunity, and migraines, to support the notion that having sex, regardless of quality, automatically leads to better health. However, sex educators Hannah De Priest and Rosa Sierra argue that this perspective is misguided. “Sex is not a vitamin,” De Priest emphasizes. “If you want a health plan, meet with a dietitian or sign up for a yoga class.”
Why All Sex Can’t Be Treated the Same
The idea that more sex equals better health stems from the assumption that all sex is created equal. However, if the sex you’re having causes mental turmoil or stress, it’s not worth the physical benefits – and it might even do more harm than good. Stress, which negatively affects sleep, heart health, and cognitive function, can be a significant obstacle to overall well-being.
The Importance of Emotionally Healthy Sex
Research suggests that pleasurable sex is key to a happy marriage. A 2017 study found that a satisfying sex life and a warm interpersonal climate matter more than frequent sex. So, how can you ensure that sex helps you feel better, not worse?
Communicate Your Wants and Needs
Effective communication is crucial for emotionally healthy sex. Sierra advises individuals to first communicate with themselves, then with their partner. This includes expressing desires, such as kissing, orgasms, or physical closeness, and being open to new experiences.
Solo Sex: A Path to Emotional Fulfillment
Solo sex can be a great way to explore your unique emotional needs. De Priest suggests setting goals for your sexual session, such as achieving a good orgasm or experiencing pleasure in a new way. This can help you feel more fulfilled and in touch with your body.
Beyond Orgasm: The Importance of Presence
Fixating on orgasm can lead to stress, which can negatively impact physical arousal. Instead, focus on being present during sex. Use your senses to stay in the moment, and prioritize what feels good for you.
The Value of Aftercare
Aftercare, commonly practiced in BDSM spaces, involves making your partner feel cared for as you wind down from sex. This can increase security and foster intimacy within a relationship.
Prioritizing Mental and Emotional Health
Mental health and sexual health are intricately linked. Working with a mental health professional can make a significant difference in your overall well-being. Remember, the healthiest sex is the sex that feels most natural to you, and that definition can change depending on the day. Be honest with yourself, and prioritize your emotional and mental health above all else.
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