She Strengthens

The Dangers of Misusing Devil’s Advocacy

Debate vs. Disrespect

When someone claims to be playing devil’s advocate, I often feel dismissed or belittled. While fostering diverse perspectives is essential, the devil’s advocate card can be misused as a bullying tactic, especially in online debates where self-righteousness can overshadow nuance.

Legitimate Devil’s Advocacy

When executed correctly, playing devil’s advocate can stimulate debate and strengthen knowledge. For instance, if someone expresses concern about air quality, a genuine devil’s advocate might respond by questioning the effectiveness of indoor air purification methods. This encourages the original speaker to think critically about their stance.

Weaponizing Devil’s Advocacy

However, people often misuse the devil’s advocate strategy to silence others, mask their own controversial opinions, or gaslight individuals about their lived experiences. Mental health professionals warn that this tactic can be manipulative, abusive, and ill-intentioned.

Recognizing Malicious Intent

To identify when someone is misusing devil’s advocacy, pay attention to their tone, intent, and awareness of power dynamics. If their words are condescending, their goal is to undermine you, or they fail to acknowledge their privilege, it’s a red flag.

Protecting Yourself

If you’re faced with someone who isn’t respecting your humanity, prioritize your emotional well-being. Assess whether continuing the conversation serves your needs, and consider ending it if it’s not emotionally safe for you. You can also try addressing the issue directly with the person, but only if it feels safe and won’t escalate the situation.

Setting Boundaries

Remember that you’re not obligated to engage in conversations that compromise your well-being. It’s okay to set boundaries and walk away. You can say something like: “I don’t feel safe discussing this topic with you,” or “I need you to understand my experience, and if you can’t, I’ll have to exit this conversation.” Prioritize your emotional safety and avoid entertaining bad faith attempts at understanding.