She Strengthens

Navigating the Uncharted Territory of a Global Pandemic

As I embarked on a journey around the world in the midst of a planetary pandemic, I was surprisingly calm. Perhaps it was my profession as a writer, which had already conditioned me to spend most of my time in solitude. But as I watched the world descend into chaos, I began to realize that my confidence was misplaced.

A Pandemic Unfolds

On New Year’s Eve 2019, I arrived in Bangkok to conduct research for a novel. The plot revolved around a pandemic emerging from Eastern Asia – an eerie coincidence. At that point, the world was unaware of the impending crisis brewing in Wuhan. Fast-forward three months, and the world was in a state of panic. I found myself in Hanoi, Vietnam, where expats gathered at a local bar to debate whether to stay or flee.

A Surreal Departure

As the situation escalated, I waited two weeks before catching one of the last flights out of Vietnam. The experience was both surreal and harrowing. When my plane departed for Moscow, I was informed that Russia was suspending all flights in and out of the country. The uncertainty was palpable.

Finding Refuge

I decided to wait out the pandemic in a small town on the Mexican Pacific. As I arrived in Puerto Escondido, I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Mexico wasn’t taking the virus as seriously at the time, and I hoped that things would remain relatively normal.

The Creeping Anxiety

But as the days turned into weeks, anxiety began to seep in. My partner noticed the change in me first, as I grew increasingly irritable. I blamed everything but the obvious – the pandemic. It wasn’t until I hit an emotional wall in June that I realized the true extent of my anxiety.

Confronting Fear and Acceptance

In that moment, I understood that I was just as susceptible to fear and anxiety as anyone else. American culture often emphasizes the importance of control and perseverance, but I came to realize that surrendering to the situation was the only way to find peace.

Letting Go of Control

As the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality.” By accepting that the situation was beyond my control, I was able to find a sense of calm amidst the chaos.

A New Perspective

With this acceptance came a growing sense of peace. The anxiety didn’t disappear, but it became manageable. I learned to recognize when my irritations were projections of my own fears. And as I let go of control, I began to see the world in a new light. To quote Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “The best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”