She Strengthens

Supporting Black Friends During Turbulent Times

The current state of affairs is undoubtedly challenging for the Black community. The COVID-19 pandemic has disproportionately affected Black people, and racial violence continues to plague our society. As a non-Black individual, you may want to offer support, but fear making mistakes. It’s essential to acknowledge that you may unintentionally cause harm, despite your good intentions.

Understanding the Black Experience

It’s crucial to recognize that you can never fully comprehend the breadth of the Black experience. Systemic racism is deeply ingrained in American institutions, which have historically perpetuated violence against Black bodies and minds. These harsh realities have become normalized, but it’s essential to acknowledge that they are not normal.

Avoid Harmful Phrases

When interacting with Black friends, refrain from saying things like:

• “I know how you feel.” (You don’t.)
• “I didn’t realize it was this bad” or “I can’t believe this is happening!” (It’s been happening for centuries.)
• “I support the protests, but violence/looting is not the answer.” (This statement can come across as dismissive and unsupportive.)

Genuine Support

If you want to care for your Black friends during this tumultuous period, consider the following:

• Evaluate your relationships: Be honest about whether you have genuine friendships with Black people. Don’t try to form new relationships based on a sense of solidarity.
• Don’t make it about you: This isn’t the time to prove your allyship or seek approval. Instead, focus on listening and offering support.
• Learn to apologize: If you’ve made mistakes in the past, own up to them and commit to doing better.
• Educate yourself: Take responsibility for learning about systemic oppression, racism, and Black history. Don’t rely on your Black friends to educate you.
• Invest in dismantling racism: Share your anger and frustration, and take action to promote change.
• Use inclusive language: Avoid using language that distances you from the Black experience. Remember that you have a role to play in dismantling white supremacy.

Offering Companionship

When interacting with Black friends, remember that they may be dealing with personal struggles related to racism and police brutality. Offer companionship, listen actively, and ask open-ended questions about their feelings. Understand that your friend may just need space to process their emotions, and that’s okay. Commit to being a better ally in the long run, and support efforts to eradicate oppressive systems.