She Strengthens

The Unspoken Struggle: Overcoming Anxiety in the Bathroom

Living with anxiety can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to sharing intimate spaces with our loved ones. As someone who has openly discussed their anxiety with friends and family, I’ve come to realize that there’s one aspect of my life where anxiety takes center stage: the bathroom.

The Silent Sufferer

For years, I’ve struggled with a peculiar anxiety – I couldn’t poop within 1,000 feet of my partner. It’s as if my body had internalized the fear of being judged or embarrassed in front of the person I care about most. Despite being in a stable relationship, this anxiety persisted, even on a month-long trip through Asia. I’d wake up two hours before my boyfriend to sneak in a quick bathroom visit, convincing myself that I was an early riser who loved working out and sipping mediocre coffee.

The Illusion of Control

But the truth is, I was managing the symptoms, not the root cause. I’d slip into staff bathrooms, avoiding eye contact with employees, and down dandelion digestive tea to ease my discomfort. It wasn’t until I moved in with my boyfriend that I realized I couldn’t escape this anxiety forever. The tension in my gut persisted, and I felt trapped in a cycle of self-doubt.

Breaking the Silence

For the first time, I opened up to my partner about my struggles, hoping that sharing my secret would alleviate the shame. But it didn’t. That’s when I sought the expertise of psychotherapist Katherine Schafler, who reassured me that it’s normal to feel anxious about private matters. In fact, it’s healthy to maintain boundaries in a relationship.

Rethinking Intimacy

Schafler emphasizes that comfort levels vary from person to person, and it’s not necessary to share every aspect of our lives with our partners. The idea that we must be comfortable going to the bathroom around our significant others is a myth. It’s okay to maintain privacy and establish boundaries that work for us.

Finding Relief

While I may not have uncovered the underlying cause of my anxiety, I’ve learned to cope with it. Here are a few strategies that have helped me:

1. Solitude: Setting aside time alone in the bathroom has been a game-changer. No rush, no stress.
2. Mindful Moments: Engaging in activities I enjoy, like walking my dog or listening to podcasts, helps distract my mind and ease my gut.
3. Comforting Rituals: Using products like poo-pouri toilet spray or running the bathroom fan can create a more relaxing atmosphere.
4. Therapy: If anxiety is disrupting daily life, seeking professional help can be incredibly beneficial.
5. Mindset Shift: Focusing on the positive aspects of my day and letting go of anxiety has made a significant difference in my mental and physical well-being.

A New Chapter

I’ve come to realize that overcoming anxiety in the bathroom requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to challenge societal norms. By acknowledging our struggles and seeking support, we can break free from the silence and shame that often accompany anxiety.