She Strengthens

Embracing the Power of Loss

When my father passed away at the age of 60, I was just 19. As a writer and an addict, his demise was not entirely unexpected, yet it still shook me to my core. Fourteen years have passed since then, but the memories remain vivid, and his presence still lingers in my dreams.

The Enduring Legacy of Love

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is that love transcends even death itself. My father may be physically gone, but his spirit lives on within me, my sister, and our cherished memories. Every time I cook a traditional English roast dinner, drive a car, play Scrabble, or sit down to write, I’m reminded of his enduring presence. The sense of comfort this brings me is immeasurable.

Cherishing Time with Loved Ones

Life can get busy, but it’s essential to prioritize time with those who matter most. I make it a point to visit my mother in the UK twice a year, putting away my phone to truly connect with her. I ask her questions about her life, her thoughts, and her memories, and I write them down to treasure forever. This quality time is invaluable, and I encourage everyone to do the same with their loved ones.

Beyond the Facade of Strength

Grief is a complex, deeply personal journey, and it’s crucial to approach it with empathy and understanding. As Sheryl Sandberg so eloquently put it, “Don’t ask someone who’s grieving, ‘How are you?’ Ask, ‘How are you today?’” Emotions can shift rapidly, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate the process. I’ve learned to respect my own boundaries and those of others, avoiding unnecessary questions or sympathy.

Finding Courage in Mortality

The reality of death can be a powerful catalyst for living life to the fullest. As I reflect on my own mortality, I’m motivated to make the most of the time I have. Death gives life meaning, and contemplating my own impermanence has made me feel more courageous, fearless, and powerful. This realization has brought me a sense of freedom, and I believe it can do the same for others.

Honoring the Past, Embracing the Present

I think of my father every day, especially when something funny happens. I talk to him when I achieve milestones, and I practice compassion for my own emotions, acknowledging that grief is a natural part of life. While my physical pain has diminished over time, I’ve come to realize that living a life he would be proud of is the greatest tribute I can pay to his memory. In doing so, I’m reminded that we’re always connected, even in death.