She Strengthens

The Uninvited Inquiry: Why We Need to Stop Asking About Marriage

As couples navigate the ups and downs of relationships, they’re often met with a barrage of questions from well-meaning friends and family members. “When are you two tying the knot?” or “What’s taking him so long?” are common inquiries that, while intended as lighthearted, can be damaging and hurtful.

The Weight of Expectation

For my partner and me, these questions have become a familiar refrain, especially from extended family members and romantic friends. While they’re asked in jest, they can still create an uncomfortable atmosphere. It’s not just about our parents living vicariously through our friends’ weddings; it’s about the societal pressure to conform to certain expectations.

The Problem with Assumptions

We’re a couple who believes in the concept of marriage, but many others may not be as sure. They might be opposed to the idea, uncertain about their future, or not in a good place as a couple. By asking invasive questions, we risk rubbing salt in their wounds or highlighting their personal choices as disappointments to others.

Respecting Boundaries

If someone wants to share their plans or excitement about getting married, they’ll likely do so voluntarily. There’s no need to put them on the spot in public, expecting a specific answer. Trust that they’ll keep you informed about their plans, and respect their decision if they choose not to.

The Cycle of Obligation

By constantly asking people about their life choices, we create a cycle of obligation. They may feel pressured to make decisions they wouldn’t otherwise make, simply to appease others. This can lead to unhappy marriages, unfulfilling careers, and a sense of disconnection from their true desires.

Embracing Diversity

Not everyone wants to get married, and that’s okay. Some people prefer alternative forms of commitment, while others don’t believe in marriage at all. Their love is no less meaningful or committed simply because it doesn’t conform to traditional expectations.

A Modern Perspective

It’s 2015, not the early 20th century. We should recognize that people have the right to make their own choices, free from societal pressure. By respecting their autonomy, we create a more accepting and supportive environment.

The Simple Solution

So, what’s the solution? Simply put, stop asking people when they’re going to get married. Trust that they’ll share their news when the time is right, and focus on supporting their decisions rather than dictating their path. By doing so, we can create a more compassionate and understanding community.