Supporting Friends Through the Job Search Struggle
As someone who has spent a significant amount of time navigating the job market, I’ve learned that being a good friend during this challenging period is crucial. Not only is it essential to be supportive, but you never know who you might be working under in the future. In my experience, fake attempts at help can be detrimental to one’s confidence. That’s why I’ve put together a guide on what to say and what to avoid when supporting a friend through their job search.
Avoid Leading with the Wrong Questions
When asking questions, consider whether they will provide productive information or make your friend feel bad. For instance, asking how long they’ve been searching for a job can be demotivating. Instead, ask about the types of positions they’re looking for or offer to help with their resume or cover letter.
Don’t Offer Unrelated Connections
While it’s great to want to help, offering connections in unrelated fields can come across as insensitive. If you have a connection in their desired field, offer to introduce them. Otherwise, focus on providing emotional support and keeping an eye out for relevant job postings.
Skip the Employment Gap Question
It’s likely your friend is already aware of the potential employment gap questions they’ll face in interviews. Instead of bringing it up, ask how their interviews are going and offer to help with prep. A mock interview can be incredibly helpful in building their confidence.
Focus on Their Goals and Experience
Rather than questioning their experience or abilities, ask about their former job experience and what they’re looking for now. This will help them feel more open and honest about their goals without fear of judgment.
Avoid Insensitive Comments
Phrases like “I’m jealous of your free time” or “Are you really scared?” can be hurtful and insensitive. If your friend wants to discuss their fears or frustrations, let them bring it up. And if you need to vent about your job, choose the right time to do so.
Be Careful with Layoff Questions
When a friend loses their job, avoid asking questions that place blame or assume they were at fault. Instead, ask if there’s anything you can do to help and offer emotional support.
Don’t Assume Family Support
Not everyone has a supportive family or the means to help them out. Avoid bringing up their family unless you’re close enough to know they’ve discussed their situation with them.
Respect Their Work
If your friend has a part-time or interim job, respect their work and avoid labeling them as “unemployed.” Ask how their job is going and acknowledge its value.
Offer Genuine Encouragement
Finally, avoid clichés like “Everything happens for a reason.” Instead, offer genuine encouragement and remind your friend that they can get through this challenging time and find a place where they’ll excel.
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