Rethinking the Marriage Myth
The Fear of Missing Out
As I scroll through social media, I’m bombarded with memes and eCards proclaiming, “Everyone’s getting married, while I’m thinking about where to travel next!” At first, I chuckled and moved on, but the frequency of these posts has made me pause. It seems that everywhere I look, there are articles and thinkpieces urging people to travel, live abroad, or quit their jobs before tying the knot. But as someone who’s recently taken the leap into marriage, I’m calling foul on this FOMO-centric advice.
The Limiting Inevitability of Marriage?
The notion that there are things you must do before getting married implies that marriage itself is a restrictive force that stifles individuality and adventure. This archaic thinking suggests that once you’re married, your life of independence and spontaneity is over. But I firmly believe that marriage is not an end, but a new beginning – a journey shared with a partner who supports and encourages your passions and dreams.
The Defensive Voice of Singles
Those memes and posts often come across as defensive, implying that singles are leading more exciting, independent lives than their married counterparts. It’s a form of envy-induced teasing, rooted in anxiety and pressure to conform to societal expectations. But who’s responsible for this hostility? The fake war between singles and couples is pointless, and it’s time we put aside our defense mechanisms and patronizing memes.
Different Paths, Different Choices
As someone who’s now married, I don’t look down on single friends with superiority or think their lives are worth less than mine. My single friends are incredible individuals, and I genuinely believe our lives are simply different, not better or worse. Society may instill expectations, but at the end of the day, there are no rules. There’s no “right” age to get married, no “perfect” time to start a family, and no restrictions on what you can do at different stages of your relationships.
Embracing Individuality
Marriage is a big deal, but it shouldn’t be viewed as something that cripples your individuality or desire to do amazing things. You can travel as a mom, and you can travel as an 18-year-old right after graduation. You can be a wife and remain true to yourself. You can be single and confident in your life’s direction. Let’s recognize that all life paths are right for the people who choose them, and celebrate our differences rather than trying to one-up each other.
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