She Strengthens

The Long-Distance Dilemma: Career Ambitions vs. Relationship Goals

As I reflect on my relationship, I realize that I’ve been living in a state of limbo for nearly three years. My boyfriend and I embarked on a long-distance relationship (LDR) when I graduated from college and returned to the suburbs of Chicago, while he remained in my college town. We both had ambitious goals and aspirations that neither of us was willing to sacrifice.

The Pursuit of Excellence

After completing my undergraduate degree, I was accepted into a prestigious graduate program in my field. My boyfriend was thrilled, and I was ecstatic. Around the same time, he landed his dream job in my college town. We were both over the moon, but we knew that our physical distance would become more permanent as time went on.

The Career Conundrum

Two years later, I secured a job in Chicago, while my boyfriend continued to excel in his role, three hours away via Amtrak. We faced a dilemma: neither of us wanted to sacrifice our career goals, nor ask the other to do so. My boyfriend was making a real difference in his community, and I couldn’t ask him to give that up. Similarly, my career objectives were narrow, and a job in my field might not be available in his smaller town.

The Resentment Factor

I knew that if one of us sacrificed our career, resentment would eventually creep in. Whoever made the move would always hold the upper hand, and our relationship would be built on uneven ground. I envisioned the arguments that would arise and decided that I didn’t want to start our life together on such terms.

The Uncertainty

We continue to navigate this uncertain landscape, with no end date in sight. As someone who hates uncertainty, I’ve often wondered if it’s even worth it. Would it be easier to end the relationship and focus solely on my aspirations? But here’s the thing: I don’t want to pursue my passions without my boyfriend by my side.

The Power of Commitment

Despite the distance, we’ve grown our lives together, even while growing our careers individually. Our commitment to the LDR has taught us faith and patience. We keep working towards our career goals, confident that one day they will intersect geographically. We’re willing to wait, knowing that the distance isn’t forever, but our relationship is.

The End Goal

I love my boyfriend for his ambitious goals and strong convictions. He pushes me to strive for the same, and his level of supportiveness is unparalleled. When we finally are together, we’ll feel fulfilled in both our relationship and our respective professions. For now, we’ll continue to maintain the LDR, knowing that our commitment will ultimately lead us to a life together, where our careers and love intersect.