She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Expectations

As I approach a new decade of life, I’ve been forced to confront the anxiety that’s been weighing me down. The past five years have been a series of unmet expectations, a far cry from the success I was conditioned to achieve. Growing up as the overachiever, I was always destined for greatness. But life had other plans.

The Ego Check

From preschool to my Master’s program, I was the standout student. But as I entered the real world, my International Relations dreams in DC began to fizzle. My one job in the field imploded, and my relationship crumbled with it. I was left feeling like a complete failure, stuck in a rut of disappointment and self-doubt.

Reckoning with Reality

Writing about my struggles was a turning point for me. It was an attempt to redefine my worth, to separate my identity from my accomplishments. I realized that my value lies not in what I’ve achieved, but in what I can do today, with the circumstances I have. It’s about embracing the present, rather than dwelling on past failures.

A New Path Unfolds

Initially, I considered moving back in with my parents, a decision that would have felt like a defeat. But after researching my options and reading comments from others who’ve faced similar struggles, I decided to stay in the startup and financial services industries. These fields align with my academic background and professional experience, offering a better chance of stability.

A Fresh Start

I’m taking a leap of faith, moving to the Los Angeles area in search of a new beginning. I’ll be living in an affordable apartment, sharing the space with a roommate I met while job hunting. My first job will be serving part-time at a beachside restaurant, with Spanish tutoring on the side. It’s not ideal, but it’s a start.

Building Momentum

I’m targeting a dozen companies for interviews, revamping my online portfolio, and creating a personal website to showcase my skills. I’m excited about the prospect of working with startups that align with my values, particularly those that focus on helping lower-income kids access higher education.

Finding Happiness

For the first time, I feel genuinely excited about the future. I’ve allowed myself to take a step back, focus on something other than the job hunt, and prioritize my happiness. I’ve learned that my worth isn’t defined by my job title or salary. I’m more than that.

Advice to Fellow Strugglers

If you’re stuck in a cycle of professional disappointment, I urge you to find something else to occupy your mind. Take a break from the hamster wheel and focus on what brings you joy. Whether it’s a change of scenery, a new hobby, or simply taking long walks, find what gives you meaning beyond your job. You are more than your career.