She Strengthens

The Unspoken Pressure to Travel

Growing up in rural Ontario, I never felt like I was missing out on anything by not traveling beyond North America. My family’s annual road trips to Ottawa, Sudbury, and Wawa were exciting enough for me. However, as I entered my late 20s, I began to feel a growing sense of insecurity about my lack of international travel. Living in Toronto, surrounded by people from diverse cultural backgrounds and varying levels of wealth, I felt like an outlier.

A Different Kind of Upbringing

My friends’ experiences were vastly different from mine. Some had emigrated to Canada under difficult circumstances, while others had grown up taking luxurious vacations to Paris and Geneva. Even those from middle-class backgrounds like mine had lived in or traveled to other countries. I, on the other hand, had never ventured beyond the continent.

The Expectation to Explore

When I started working as a business reporter, I had the opportunity to travel to L.A. a few times. While it was an exciting experience, I didn’t see it as a life-changing event. However, when a position opened up that would involve more international travel, I was tempted. But when the company restructured, I was moved to a magazine with even less travel opportunities.

The Practicality of Priorities

I had to focus on my new job and put aside my disappointment about not being able to travel more. But the nagging voice in my head remained, reminding me that I wasn’t like my colleagues and friends who got to travel to exotic destinations. It’s not just about feeling left out; it’s about the assumption that travel is the solution to all my problems.

Travel as a Panacea

Whenever I shared my struggles with relationships or work stress, the advice was always to travel and gain new perspective. It’s as if people think that traveling will magically fix all my issues. The condescending messages about how I could save up for a trip by making small sacrifices, like taking leftovers for lunch, ignore the fact that I make practical choices for financial reasons, not because I’m saving up for a spontaneous adventure.

Luxury vs. Necessity

In my experience, travel has always been a luxury that requires sacrifice in other areas. I’ve had to make choices between pursuing my passions, like dance, and saving up for a trip. I’ve also had to prioritize my financial stability over the desire to explore.

Silencing the Nagging Voice

I’m aware that my own personality flaws contribute to my anxiety about traveling. The thought of spending hundreds of dollars on a plane ticket gives me panic attacks. Maybe one day, I’ll realize that travel brings long-term satisfaction, but until then, I wish others could understand that not traveling doesn’t make me any less worthy.