She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Illusion of Transformation

The Elusive Dream of Becoming Someone Else

I’ve struggled with the notion that buying something can change who I am. It’s easy to blame advertising and societal pressure for this misconception, but deep down, I know it’s more complex. As someone who’s battled anxiety-driven impulse spending, I’ve come to realize that my own insecurities fuel this belief. I’m not alone in this struggle. We often attribute social status to material possessions, extracurricular activities, and prestigious education. We reward people for what they have, rather than who they are.

The Myth of Transformation

We’ve been led to believe that buying the right things can transform us into someone else. I’ve fallen victim to this thinking, convincing myself that owning certain items or experiences would make me a different person. But the truth is, confidence and self-worth can’t be bought. I’ve wasted countless amounts of money trying to become someone I’m not, only to realize that true happiness comes from accepting myself.

Four Women I Tried to Become

In my journey to self-acceptance, I’ve identified four distinct periods where I tried to transform into someone else.

The Prep

Growing up in Annapolis, Maryland, surrounded by wealth and luxury, distorted my view of what’s normal. I spent money trying to fit in with the preppy crowd, buying Lilly Pulitzer dresses and J. Crew accessories. Looking back, it was a futile attempt to buy into a culture that wasn’t mine.

The Career Woman

During my internship days, I felt pressure to overcompensate for my lack of experience. I thought being professional meant wearing the right clothes, so I spent money on blazers and slacks. But I soon realized that being professional is more than just what you wear.

The Outdoorsy Cool Girl

For a brief period, I tried to become an outdoorsy person to impress someone I was dating. I spent money on Lacoste polo shirts, hiking shoes, and cargo shorts, only to realize that I’m not cut out for camping and hiking. It was a laughable attempt to fit into a persona that wasn’t mine.

The Parisian

When I moved to Paris, I became obsessed with becoming a “Parisian.” I devoured guides on Parisian chic and spent money on cheap, ill-fitting clothes. But I soon realized that trying to fit into someone else’s idea of chic was unattainable and unhappy. I found true happiness when I stopped trying to become someone else and started embracing my own style and identity.

Embracing Authenticity

My journey has taught me that true transformation comes from within. It’s time to break free from the illusion that buying something can change who we are. By embracing our authentic selves, we can find happiness and confidence that doesn’t come with a price tag.