She Strengthens

Breaking Free from the Grip of My Eating Disorder

For over a decade, I’ve been trapped in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and destructive habits, disguising my eating disorder as a “commitment to healthy living.” But on August 3rd, 2017, I finally acknowledged the truth and took the first step towards recovery.

The Turning Point

I booked an appointment with a certified eating disorder specialist, which cost $80 – a small price to pay for my freedom. During our consultation, I opened up about my diet history, the factors that influence my eating habits, and what recovery means to me. It was a difficult conversation, but a necessary one.

Unraveling the Web of Deceit

For years, I’ve justified my restrictive eating and obsessive calorie counting, convincing myself that I was just trying to be healthy. But deep down, I knew I was lying to myself. I was using my “healthy living” facade to hide the real issue – my eating disorder.

A New Chapter

Since starting my recovery journey, I’ve made significant changes to my lifestyle. I’ve decreased my “fun money” budget to make room for healthcare spending, including my $80 monthly sessions with my nutritionist. I’ve also cancelled unnecessary subscriptions and reduced my clothing budget to accommodate this new expense.

More Than Just a Budget Adjustment

While adjusting my budget has been a necessary step, it’s only the beginning. The real challenge lies in the personal and emotional work that lies ahead. I’ve started by making small changes, such as deleting calorie-tracking apps and unsubscribing from “wellness” newsletters that trigger feelings of guilt. I’m also trying to eat more regularly and cook meals that nourish my body and soul.

A Journey Worth Taking

Recovery is a process, and it’s not easy. But it’s worth it. Every step I take towards healing is a step away from the grip of my eating disorder. Eighty dollars a month is a small price to pay for my freedom, my health, and my life.