She Strengthens

Finding Financial Freedom: How a Toxic Relationship Nearly Bankrupted Me

I hit rock bottom about a year ago. My life was a mess – I was stuck in an unhappy relationship, struggling with weight gain, and my savings account was dwindling. That’s when I met Anne, the game-changer in my life. With her encouragement, I created a monthly budget and discovered I was saving an extra $500 without even trying. But where was that money going? To answer that, I had to revisit my past relationship.

The Unhappy Relationship

My ex, Winnie, was charming at first – funny, attentive, and interested in everything I had to say. But things took a dark turn when she started complaining about everything. She’d write me tense messages, and nothing seemed to satisfy her. I tried to make it work, thinking that if only she had a better job, nicer friends, or a more fulfilling life, our relationship would improve. But the truth hit me hard – Winnie was never going to change.

Buying Happiness

In an attempt to salvage our relationship, I spent a small fortune trying to make Winnie happy. Here’s where my money went:

• Driving: With a long-distance relationship, I spent around $70-$100 monthly on gas and train tickets.
• Food: We ate out constantly, and even when we stayed home, we ordered takeout or bought expensive treats. I now save around $200 monthly on food.
• Alcohol: Wine became a crutch to smooth over our fights. I spent around $100 monthly on alcohol, which I’ve since cut back on.
• Movies: We went to the cinema almost every other week, spending around $50 monthly on tickets, snacks, and drinks.
• Gifts: I thought buying Winnie gifts would make her happy, but it never did. This habit added up to a significant amount over two years.

The Price of Unhappiness

In total, I wasted around $12,000 over two years trying to make our relationship work. It was a staggering amount that could have gone into my savings. The difference between an unhappy and happy relationship has been eye-opening for me. With Anne, I’ve lost 50 pounds, we’ve rented our first apartment together, and life is looking up.

Lessons Learned

My experience has taught me that true happiness can’t be bought. It’s the little things in life that matter, not expensive gifts or lavish outings. By cutting back on unnecessary expenses and focusing on what truly brings me joy, I’ve found financial freedom and a sense of peace.