She Strengthens

Embracing My True Self: Navigating the Financial Ups and Downs of Coming Out

As I took the courageous step of coming out as bisexual in 2017, I was ecstatic to explore a new chapter of my life. I envisioned making new connections, going on exciting dates, and reveling in the joy of Pride celebrations. However, I soon discovered that embracing my queer identity came with unforeseen financial consequences.

The Hidden Costs of Dating as LGBT

While I was fortunate to maintain my living situation and employment status, I found myself hemorrhaging money as I navigated the dating scene. I treated my dates to lavish dinners and drinks, attended queer dance parties, and splurged on new outfits. As the summer drew to a close, I was left exhausted and my savings account was crying out for mercy.

Regrets and Lessons Learned

In hindsight, I’ve come to realize that I made some costly mistakes. Here are a few things I regret spending money on:

• New Clothing and Accessories: I attempted to alter my appearance to fit in with my queer friends, but it only led to feelings of awkwardness and insecurity.
• Events and Places That Weren’t for Me: I felt pressured to attend every queer event, even if it didn’t resonate with me. I’ve since learned to prioritize my own preferences and say no when necessary.
• Overpriced Drinks and Late-Night Eats: The financial hangover from excessive drinking and greasy food was a harsh reality check.

Investing in What Matters

On the other hand, there are a few things I’m glad I spent money on:

• Upgrading My Dating Apps: Investing in premium dating apps allowed me to connect with people beyond my immediate area and social circle.
• Wining and Dining My Dates: Treating my dates to romantic dinners and thoughtful gestures was a wonderful way to build connections and create lasting memories.
• Celebrating Pride Intentionally: I’ve learned to celebrate Pride in a way that feels authentic to me, whether that means attending a concert or enjoying a quiet dinner with friends.

Self-Discovery and Empowerment

Looking back, I realize that my reckless spending was closely tied to feelings of imposter syndrome. As a bisexual woman who doesn’t always fit the traditional mold, I sometimes doubted my place within the LGBTQ community. However, I’ve come to understand that my identity is valid, regardless of how I choose to express it.

By embracing my individuality and making intentional financial choices, I’ve been able to find a sense of peace and confidence. I am queer enough, and I am worthy of living a life that reflects my true self.