She Strengthens

The High School Hierarchy: A Lesson in Self-Acceptance

As a teenager, I was consumed by the desire to fit in. I longed for the latest designer brands, trendy gadgets, and popular beauty products that would supposedly make me more desirable. But my parents, wisely, didn’t give in to my whims. Instead, they taught me valuable lessons about wants versus needs, and the importance of self-acceptance.

Here are the 7 things I desperately wanted as a teenager, but didn’t get:

1. Jimmy Choo Ugg Boots: These studded monstrosities were the ultimate status symbol in secondary school. But my parents didn’t fall for it, and I learned that just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s nice.

2. A Blackberry (And Every Other Hot New Phone): I wanted a Blackberry because everyone else had one. But my parents didn’t buy into the hype, and I learned that literally no one cared that I didn’t have the latest phone.

3. A Head-To-Toe New Outfit Every Time I Was Invited To A Party: I was terrified of being known as an “outfit repeater,” so I pleaded for new clothes every time I got invited to a party. Instead, I learned to love what’s in my closet and wear those items again and again.

4. Paul’s Boutique Bag: This iconic British brand was the staple of every teenage girl in the early 2010s – except me. I wanted their gaudy zebra and cheetah prints, but my parents didn’t give in. Now, I see it as a cautionary tale against buying into trends that won’t stand the test of time.

5. Products That I Convinced Myself Would Make Me More Desirable: I wanted perms, hair dye, and beauty products to make myself more attractive. But these “solutions” created more problems, trapping me in a cycle of self-improvement. I wish I could say I’ve learned to ignore these messages, but I’m still working on it.

6. Braces: I wanted braces to fix my teeth, but the NHS wouldn’t cover them, and my parents couldn’t afford private treatment. Not getting them taught me to accept my appearance and stop trying to conform to societal beauty standards.

7. A Horse: Yes, I even wanted a horse at one point! But my parents sensibly suggested riding lessons instead. I learned that acting on a whim, especially one with lofty consequences, is rarely a good idea.

Looking back, I’m grateful my parents didn’t give in to my demands. Those early lessons have instilled in me important values that make me proud of the person I’ve become. I’ve discovered my own sense of individuality without acquiring any of the things I thought I needed to find it.