She Strengthens

Financial Freedom in Relationships: Setting Boundaries

As a strong-willed individual, I’ve always prioritized financial independence. Growing up in a household that encouraged equality, I was instilled with the confidence to take care of myself. However, as I entered into a long-term relationship, I realized that maintaining financial autonomy wasn’t as straightforward as I thought.

The Importance of Separate Accounts

Living with my partner in New York City, one of the most expensive cities in the world, has been a significant adjustment. To ensure I remained financially independent, I knew I needed to keep my own accounts – checking, savings, 401k, and IRA. Having complete control over my finances has forced me to become more financially literate and responsible. I seek advice from my partner and father, but ultimately, I make the decisions about my money.

Making Independent Purchases

I don’t need permission from anyone to make a purchase, unless I want an opinion. If I decide to buy a car or make a significant investment, I won’t consult anyone but myself. Of course, I value my partner’s opinion and may seek their advice, but I don’t need their approval. We’ve established a supportive dynamic where we respect each other’s financial decisions, as long as we’re paying our bills and not putting the other in financial distress.

Avoiding Financial Dependence

It’s crucial to resist the temptation to rely on my partner as a provider. While it’s okay to occasionally split expenses or accept help, I need to maintain my identity as a financially independent individual. This means not always expecting him to pay for meals, trips, or clothes. By doing so, I’m ensuring that our relationship remains balanced and healthy.

The Key to Financial Independence

Establishing financial independence takes time, effort, and open communication. It’s essential to discuss financial goals, expectations, and boundaries with your partner. By doing so, you can avoid potential conflicts and ensure that both parties feel secure and respected. Remember, financial independence is not about controlling each other’s finances but about being responsible for your own.

The Bottom Line

Everyone’s financial journey is unique, and mistakes are inevitable. However, prioritizing financial independence is crucial, especially in long-term relationships. By setting boundaries, maintaining separate accounts, and making independent purchases, you can ensure a healthier and more balanced dynamic with your partner. It may not be the most glamorous topic, but discussing finances openly and honestly is worth it in the long run.