She Strengthens

Breaking the Silence: Navigating Family Finances and Caregiving

A Personal Story

I still remember the day I paid off my student loans, a milestone many of us strive for. But little did I know, my financial journey was only just beginning. When my mother fell ill, I was forced to confront the harsh reality of my family’s financial situation. With no budget or savings in place, we were unprepared to face the inevitable declining health and increasing needs of our parents.

The Unspoken Truth

My family is not alone in this struggle. Many millennials from working-class backgrounds face the daunting task of subsidizing their ailing relatives’ costs of living while dealing with rising rent, stagnant wages, and predatory financial practices around medical costs. The path forward requires difficult conversations with our families, but where do we start?

Step One: Building Trust and Understanding

After years of avoiding conversations about money, my siblings and I had to learn to talk about our financial wellbeing, fears, and hopes. I started by asking each of them about their thoughts on our mother’s health, our stepfather’s situation, and how they felt about one another and me. By suspending judgment and listening actively, I was able to gather a fuller picture of our family’s dynamics and concerns.

Step Two: Collaborating Towards a Common Goal

Through individual and group conversations, we identified our shared concerns and desired outcomes. I made sure to validate each person’s perspective, avoiding counterarguments and judgments. By doing so, we were able to rally around a common understanding of the problem and agree to work together to find a solution.

Step Three: Communicating, Organizing, and Planning

Collective action may seem obvious, but it requires effort and dedication. We had to navigate our busy schedules to find time to meet and discuss our plans. Building trust takes time, and meaningful communication requires cyclical work: talking, processing, checking in, and repeating. But with every step, we’re moving closer to creating a sustainable solution for our family’s wellbeing.

The Road Ahead

The Covid-19 pandemic has slowed our progress, but we’re determined to continue our efforts. By following these three steps, we’re learning to navigate the complexities of family finances and caregiving. There’s still hard work ahead, but I’m confident that our collective efforts will make a difference in the lives of our loved ones.