She Strengthens

Breaking Free from Financial Shackles

Growing up as a child of divorce, I thought I had learned valuable lessons about financial independence. But when I faced my own divorce, I realized I wasn’t as prepared as I thought. My parents’ financial struggles after their divorce had instilled in me a strong work ethic and the understanding that I was responsible for my own financial well-being. By 26, I was married, had a good job, and had even bought my first house. But by 27, I was signing divorce papers and starting over from scratch.

The Harsh Reality of Financial Dependence

My ex-husband and I had built a lifestyle around his income, which was significantly higher than mine. When we divorced, it became clear that I couldn’t afford the lifestyle we had created together. He kept the house, and I was left with barely enough to cover my basic expenses. I was forced to confront the harsh reality that I wasn’t financially independent at all.

Lesson 1: Open Communication is Key

In hindsight, I realize that my silence about financial decisions during my marriage was a major contributor to my financial dependence. I had deferred to my ex-husband’s expertise, but that meant I was left in the dark when it came to our financial situation. Now, I make sure to have open and honest conversations with my partner about our finances, ensuring that we’re both on the same page.

The Dangers of Emotional Spending

Divorce is an emotional rollercoaster, and it’s easy to turn to spending as a way to cope. But that’s exactly what I did, and it led to a mountain of credit card debt. It’s taken me two years to pay off those debts, but the experience has taught me the importance of keeping emotional spending in check.

Lesson 2: Know Your Worth

When dividing our assets, I was more concerned with avoiding conflict than ensuring I got what was rightfully mine. I’ve since realized that I was a victim of financial abuse, and that I should have stood up for myself. Now, I know that it’s okay to ask for what I need and to assert myself in all areas of my life.

Letting Go of the Past

In the aftermath of my divorce, I struggled with anger and resentment. But eventually, I came to realize that holding onto those emotions was holding me back from focusing on my financial future. Letting go of the past has allowed me to move forward and find happiness in my new life.

A New Chapter

Today, I’m grateful for the financial lessons I’ve learned the hard way. I’ve built a new life, one that’s centered around open communication, financial responsibility, and self-awareness. I’ve come to understand that true happiness doesn’t come from money, but from living a life that’s true to who I am.