She Strengthens

The Hidden Costs of Leaving an Abusive Relationship

When friends and loved ones discover that someone is trapped in an abusive relationship, the instinctive response is often, “Just leave!” But the reality is far more complex. I know firsthand, having endured three years of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my ex-boyfriend.

The Financial Shackles of Abuse

Our rental agreement was a constant source of tension, with my ex using it to control my life. He earned a higher income, and we split the rent 70/30. This financial dependence only strengthened his grip on me. I felt trapped, with no clear escape route.

The Staggering Cost of Freedom

When I finally found the courage to leave, I was shocked by the financial burden that came with it. The total cost of breaking free from my abusive relationship was a staggering $15,980 CAD (~$12,830 USD). Here’s a breakdown of the expenses that caught me off guard:

• Moving Out: $160 ($128 USD) for a truck rental to transport my belongings
• Renting a New Place: An extra $3,720 ($2,988 USD) per year for a new apartment, plus utilities and internet costs
• Furniture: $900 ($722 USD) for basic bedroom essentials
• Transportation: $6,200 ($4,980 USD) for a used car, gas, and insurance
• Medical Bills: $600 ($482 USD) for treatment and medication
• Counselling: $3,600 ($2,891 USD) for therapy sessions
• Lost Wages at Work: $800 ($642 USD) for time taken off to coordinate my exit and attend appointments

Breaking the Silence

Leaving an abusive relationship is never easy, but it’s essential to acknowledge the financial hurdles that come with it. By sharing my story, I hope to raise awareness about the complexities of intimate partner abuse and the resources available to survivors.

Resources for Survivors

Organizations like Make It Our Business offer invaluable support and resources for those affected by intimate partner violence. Their guidance helped me navigate the challenges of leaving my abusive relationship and rebuilding my life.

A Message of Hope

If you’re trapped in an abusive relationship, know that you’re not alone. Leaving may seem impossible, but it’s worth the struggle. Seek help, gather support, and know that there are resources available to aid your journey towards freedom.