She Strengthens

Growing Up with High Expectations

I was the golden child, the one who did everything right. With three sisters and one brother, I was part of a big, loving family where individual attention was plentiful. My parents, who are the epitome of awesome, provided us with a comfortable upbringing, complete with opportunities to explore our passions and interests.

A Childhood of Privilege

As the second-youngest, I was essentially raised by a tribe of kids, with my parents guiding us along the way. When my little sister arrived, I felt like I had my own mini-me to care for. My childhood was idyllic, with excellent grades, success in sports and theatre, and even scholarships to three different colleges. My parents’ financial stability, courtesy of my dad’s executive job in the medical field, meant we could afford to send us on exciting trips and provide opportunities for personal growth.

The Pressure to Succeed

With such a supportive upbringing, I was expected to do great things. I took my scholarship to a prestigious California state school, double majoring in Economics and Spanish. Then, I pursued a Master’s in International Relations, assuming it would lead me to a dream job in Washington, D.C. But after two years of unpaid internships, I found myself struggling to find a job that matched my skills and passion.

A Cycle of Disappointment

I worked multiple internships, including stints at an international development bank, a think tank, and a left-leaning political publication. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t seem to catch a break. My parents helped me out financially, but I felt like I was stuck in a vicious cycle of feeling like I was getting ahead, only to be taken less seriously by my bosses.

A Reality Check

At 26, my parents told me they were cutting me off financially, and I realized I wasn’t going to land my dream job. I had to accept that my field was highly competitive, and even with my impressive credentials, I wasn’t good enough. I faced a tough decision: move to a new city with lower pay and prestige or continue fighting for a job in D.C.

A New Chapter

When my boyfriend moved to Seattle for a job, I took it as a sign to start fresh on the West Coast. Initially, things looked up: I landed a job at a financial services startup, and we got a cute apartment downtown. But within a year, everything fell apart. The startup went out of business, my boyfriend left me for a colleague, and I had to move out of our apartment.

The Breaking Point

At 28, I hit rock bottom. I had done everything right, but still found myself struggling to make a mark in my field. I felt like I was good enough to get by, but not special or talented enough to succeed. I considered becoming a teacher, but quickly realized it wasn’t for me. I ended up waiting tables and babysitting, feeling frustrated and rejected.

A Lesson Learned

Looking back, I realize that I spent my 20s holding myself to an unattainable standard. Instead of being happy with my achievements, I felt constantly disappointed that I wasn’t living up to my idealized version of myself. Now, as I approach 30, I’m learning to take things as they come and let go of my expectations. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.