Breaking Free from People-Pleasing
As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve learned that saying “yes” to everyone else means saying “no” to myself. For years, I thought being available to heal and help others would somehow heal my own wounds. But the truth is, it only led to burnout and a lifetime of false narratives.
The Power of Self-Reflection
In the past year, I’ve embarked on a journey of self-discovery, working with a licensed therapist, a reiki healer, and a holistic life coach. Through this process, I’ve come to realize that true liberation lies in detaching myself from external validation. It’s not about pleasing others; it’s about embracing my own worthiness.
Three Questions to Ask Yourself
So, how do I ensure I’m living my most authentic life? I’ve developed three questions to ask myself before committing to anything:
1. Does this align with my core values and goals?
It’s essential to take inventory of where I spend my time and energy. By prioritizing my goals and values, I can confidently say “yes” to opportunities that align with my vision.
2. Is it a “F*ck yes” or a “Please don’t hate me”?
This question helps me identify my motivations. If it’s not a wholehearted “yes,” it’s likely a “no.” This exercise has allowed me to recognize toxic relationships and self-preservation patterns.
3. What will happen if I say no?
By considering the worst-case scenarios, I can determine where my resources should go and what my next step should be. This question grounds me and reminds me that true friends and loved ones will understand my decisions.
Embracing My True Self
People-pleasing may always be a struggle, but with these actionable exercises, I can lighten the burden. By prioritizing myself and my goals, I’m finally learning to occupy my space with confidence and self-love.
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