She Strengthens

Raising a Son Alone: One Father’s Journey

As Father’s Day approaches, we’re shining a light on the often-overlooked stories of single dads who are raising their children without the support of a partner. Meet Mike, a 32-year-old father from Chicago who has been single-parenting his 13-year-old son, MJ, for over a decade.

A Surprising Pregnancy

Mike’s journey as a single dad began when he was just 19 years old. He and his high school sweetheart, MJ’s mother, had been dating for about a year and a half when she became pregnant. Although she never wanted to be a mom, she decided to carry the pregnancy to term, and Mike has always been grateful for that decision.

Stepping Up as a Single Dad

When MJ’s mother made it clear that she wasn’t interested in being a part of their son’s life, Mike stepped up to take on the role of primary caregiver. With the support of his family, he balanced college classes with caring for his newborn son. Although it wasn’t easy, Mike’s determination to provide for MJ drove him to succeed.

Dealing with Absentee Co-Parenting

Mike’s biggest pet peeve is the pity party that often surrounds single dads. He believes that fathers are just as capable of caring for their children as mothers, and that they shouldn’t be pitied for doing their job. He also acknowledges that his son’s mother made a selfless decision in choosing not to be involved in MJ’s life, allowing Mike to adopt a more significant role in their son’s upbringing.

The Stigma of Being a Single Dad

One of the toughest challenges Mike faces is the stigma surrounding single dads. People often assume that MJ’s mother is dead or that she’s not involved in their son’s life due to personal problems. Mike wishes that people would understand that single dads are just as capable of raising their children as single mothers.

Raising a Son Without a Mother Figure

Mike’s greatest concern is that MJ will grow up without a positive female influence in his life. He worries that his son will struggle with trust issues or develop negative perceptions of women. To combat this, Mike is intentional about surrounding MJ with positive female role models, such as his grandmother and aunt.

The Financial Struggle is Real

As a single dad, Mike has had to work hard to provide for MJ. He quit college to pursue a career as a truck driver, which has allowed him to earn a steady income and build generational wealth for his son. Although it hasn’t been easy, Mike is proud of the progress he’s made and the life he’s built for himself and MJ.

Dating as a Single Dad

Mike is cautious when it comes to dating, knowing that any potential partner will not only have to win him over but also his son. He’s learned that introducing new people into MJ’s life can be challenging, and he’s careful to consider his son’s feelings and needs above his own.

Advice for Other Single Parents

Mike’s advice to other single parents is to focus on what matters most – their children. He encourages them to let go of resentment and keep their heads up, knowing that it’s all worth it in the end.