Embracing Solitude: A Journey of Self-Discovery
I’d always dreamed of moving to Washington D.C. since my undergraduate days, drawn to the epicenter of international relations. The desire to make a difference and prove myself drove me to take the leap. However, after graduating, I found myself stuck in the comfort zone of my childhood home in the suburbs of Chicago. The familiarity was suffocating, and I felt myself disappearing into the routine.
The Illusion of Comfort
I loved my job in campaigning, but the weekly tears in my car hinted at a deeper issue. It wasn’t the work; it was me. My relationship, though loving, couldn’t fill the void I felt growing inside. We were both lost, trying to find ourselves, but reaching out to each other only led to further sinking. The realization hit me: I needed to break free.
A Crossroads
After the March 2018 Illinois primary, I faced a choice: stay in Chicago or move to D.C. The decision seemed monumental, but I knew it was one people made every day. My gut pushed me toward the unknown, and I packed up my life, leaving behind the support system I cherished.
The Harsh Reality of Change
Seven months into my D.C. adventure, the struggle has been real. I miss my friends, family, and the comfort of familiarity. The guilt of leaving my parents and grandpa weighs heavily on me. But amidst the loneliness, I’ve been forced to confront my shadow – the anxious, body-dysmorphic, and fearful parts of myself.
Finding Solace in Solitude
I’ve come to realize that it’s not the place that helps you find yourself, but the time spent alone. Every day, I wake up to an empty apartment, with no distractions to hide behind. In this solitude, I’m forced to confront my shadow, and slowly, it’s begun to recede.
Uncovering Old Dreams
I’ve started to dust off old passions, like improv comedy, which I discovered through friends in Chicago. I’ve also taken on new projects at work and rekindled my love for running. The city has become my playground, and I’m slowly finding myself in its streets.
A New Chapter
It’s been a journey of self-discovery, and I’m still finding my footing. I miss home, but I’ve started to meet the person I’ve been searching for – myself. The solitude has been harsh, but it’s also been a catalyst for growth. As I continue to explore this new chapter, I’m excited to see what the future holds.
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